With this information in mind, I’ve put together a quick
list of things Muslim men should be aware of when it comes to their wife’s
mind.
1. Above All, She Wants Your Love
This harkens back to a post I wrote a couple of months ago
called “Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?”
In this article I explained that men desire respect from
their wives, and women desire love from their husbands.
When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows
her less love.
And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn
shows him less respect.
And the vicious cycle repeats itself.
Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show
love to your wife.
That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and
quirks.
And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and
quirks.
>>Here’s What My Wife Did To Make Me Fall In Love With
Her Again<<
2. She’s Bored
It’s the same thing every day.
Week in and week out.
Not only is she bored but she’s also tired.
She has to care for the kids and run the household and then
pamper you.
Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to
crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife
must feel.
And let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim women
have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down.
So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special.
Give her a break.
Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal.
Bring her favorite desert home.
Just do something every now and then to break the monotany.
3. She Wants to Be Complimented
Appreciation.
Everybody wants it.
No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes
unnoticed or even worse, it taken for granted.
Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she
does not have to cook your meals.
But she does.
And she does that on top of all the other things in her
life:
Working or going to school.
Caring for the kids.
Striving to be a better Muslimah.
Show your Muslim wife that you appreciate and are thankful
for the things she does to maintain you and your family.
A simple “thank you” is a good start.
4. She’s Insanely Jealous
There’s a reason most women don’t care for polygamy.
Be very careful how you talk about other women around your
wife.
I mentioned this in my book “Sex and Islam.” Don’t ever
compare your wife to another woman.
Don’t compare her to some female movie star.
Don’t compare her to your mother.
Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other wife!)
She’s wants to know and believe that she is the center of
your universe. So make her feel that way.
Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got jealous. Aisha (RA) even
got jealous of Khadijah (RA) who was dead.
Expect, and respect, the same type of jealousy from your
wife.
5. She Wants You to Help Her Become A Better Muslimah
If you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to watch this
video I did a couple of weeks ago for Muslim men. In this video I stress the
importance of men taking the role of leader within their families.
And that’s the problem with a lot of Muslim men these days.
Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led
by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives).
Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what
better way to lead her than to be show her how to be a better Muslimah?
But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not
that great either. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to
improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.
6. She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard
It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands.
That’s not entirely true.
Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you can
never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in something.
Let’s be reminded of the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the
Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were
ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they
ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and
are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If
you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees
something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any
good from you.”
Sahih Bukhari
So, yes sisters should be careful about denegrating the
things your husband does for you.
But very often, you Brother, make it hard for her to hold
your tongue.
Perhaps you’re always finding fault with her and she looks
for things in your character to get even.
Perhaps you’re not working (or not working hard enough) and
she has to work to take up some slack.
Perhaps you’re just not that great of a guy.
Once again, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons to
complain and nag.
7. More Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy
Relationship With You
Women don’t get married just because they think it’s gonna
be fun.
They get married because they want a happy family life and
they believe you’re gonna give it to them.
Outside of her religious duties, that’s the most important
thing in a Muslim woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim family.
The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give that to
her.
Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good husband to her. Be kind.
Show her you love her.
Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife.
Yes, you have the right to do both. But using them as threats is inappropriate
and detrimental to your marriage.
Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan, and be
patient with her. There’s nothing Shaytan would love more than to destroy your
marriage.
See? That isn’t all that hard, now is it?
Also brothers, I highly encourage you to click on the red
banner below this post and register for the Imancipated Man Summit. This is a
virtual summit that will show Muslim men how to reach their true potential.
Inshallah, this is something you should not miss
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